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cold war_script_better example using rewritten scene breakdowns.txt
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cold war_script_better example using rewritten scene breakdowns.txt
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SCENE I:
INT.SUBMARINE TRAINING BASE- DAY
Commander Johnson is leading the new recruits in a grueling training exercise. Alex is struggling to keep up, but falls behind the other trainees. Commander Johnson notices and starts to yell at him.
COMMANDER JOHNSON
What the hell are you doing, recruit? Do you want to be a goddamn sailor or not?
ALEX
(out of breath) Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir.
COMMANDER JOHNSON
(yelling) Sorry doesn't cut it! You're a disgrace to the navy! Now get your ass in gear!
Alex redoubles his efforts, but it's clear that he's not cut out for this type of training. He looks discouraged as he falls further behind the other recruits.
SCENE 2:
INT.SUBMARINE TRAINING BASE CANTEEN- DAY
The other recruits are gathered in the canteen, laughing and enjoying themselves. Alex is sitting by himself, trying to eat his meal. Suddenly, one of the other cadets, Bill, comes over and takes Alex's tray of food.He dumps it on Alex's head, and the other recruits start laughing.
BILL
(mocking) Hey, look at the little baby! He can't even handle his food!
ALEX
(angry) Fuck you, man! Give me my food back!
BILL
(smirking) Make me, pussy.
Just then, the training officer, Commander Johnson, walks in. He sees the commotion and comes over to investigate.
COMMANDER JOHNSON
What's going on here?
BILL
(innocently) Oh, nothing sir. We were just messing around.
COMMANDER JOHNSON
(to Alex) Is that true? Were you just messing around?
ALEX
No sir, he took my food and…
Commander Johnson cuts him off and starts berating him.
COMMANDER JOHNSON
I don't want to hear your excuses! You're a disgrace to the navy! Now get out of here and clean up that mess! And you can forget about dinner tonight! You're going to be cleaning latrines for the next week!
Alex is angry and frustrated as he is sent out into the rain. The other recruits watch him with amusement as he struggles with the job.
SCENE 3:
INT.SUBMARINE TRAINING BASE BARRACKS- NIGHT
The barracks are dimly lit, and the beds are all occupied by sleeping recruits. Alex is in his bed, awake, writing a letter home. He looks unhappy and frustrated.
ALEX (V.O)
Dear Mom and Dad,
I'm not sure what I was thinking when I joined the navy. This place is a hellhole. The other recruits are bastards and the commanding officer is a dick. I'm sorry to say that I don't think I'm cut out for this place. I don't know how much longer I can take it.
Hopefully things will get better, but right now I just feel like giving up…
His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of snoring from one of the other beds. He looks over and sees his bunkmate, Bob, fast asleep. He shakes his head in disgust and goes back to writing his letter.
SCENE 4
INT.SUBMARINE- RADAR ROOM
Alex is manning the radar, nervously scanning the waters for any sign of danger. He's on edge, and sweating.
ALEX
(into radio) Captain, I've got a contact. Looks like a Russian ship.
CAPTAIN (O.S)
(over radio) We'll take a look. Stay alert, son.
CUT TO:
INT.SUBMARINE- CONTROL ROOM
The captain and first mate are looking at the radar screen. The captain doesn't seem too concerned.
CAPTAIN
(to first mate) Surface the sub, we'll take a look with the periscope.
FIRST MATE
(nods) Aye, sir.
CUT TO: INT.SUBMARINE- RADAR ROOM
Alex is still sweating, and he looks worried.
ALEX
(into radio) Captain, I think we should check with the periscope first, sir. Just to be sure.
CAPTAIN (O.S)
(over radio, dismissively) We'll be fine, son. Stay alert.
CUT TO: INT./EXT.- UNDERWATER/PERISCOPE VIEW
The periscope comes up to the surface and the captain looks through it. He gasps in surprise when he sees the Russian ship right next to them.
CAPTAIN (O.S)
(into radio) Goddamnit! Get us out of here! Full speed!
CUT TO: INT./EXT.- SUBMARINE/WATER
The submarine starts to move away from the Russian ship as fast as it can go.
CUT TO: INT./EXT.- RUSSIAN SHIP/WATER
The sailors on the Russian ship look surprised and confused as the submarine speeds away from them.CUT TO: INT.SUBMARINE- CONTROL ROOM
The captain and first mate are both sweating now, and they look relieved.
CAPTAIN
(to first mate) Good work, son. You saved our asses back there.
FIRST MATE
(nods) Thank you, sir.
CUT TO: INT.SUBMARINE- RADAR ROOM
Alex sighs in relief and sits back in his chair. The other crew members start to clap and cheer for him. He looks surprised, but pleased.
THE END